• Adam Chapman

    Picture Equality

    Equality.  Equality is a word that I’ve been hearing a lot more of in recent years. This could either be due to the fact I’m now apparently an adult and thus care more about how my actions affect those around me or because it’s become a much more acceptable talking point in the media.  Religious equality, race equality, gender equality, they rest as a striving point for any reasonable human being. As I’m sure avid readers of The Bickering Press will know, I see viewpoints such as racism, sexism or classism as archaic beliefs from a time that we should have moved on from. Of course, some people may disagree…

  • Adam Chapman

    How Much Is Too Much?

    The other day I treated myself to a new pair of trainers as my previous pair were ripped. I’d saved for a few weeks and yet still upon purchasing said shoes I was still hit with that bottom of the stomach guilt about spending money.  I’m sure we’ve all had moments like this during our lives. Most common is probably the morning after the night before, waking up in the throws of a hangover, checking your wallet only to realise it’s as baron as the Sahara. At least when buying a physical object you actually have something to show for your expenditure rather than a pounding headache and ever growing…

  • Sif

    Move Yer Arse

    Spry. Sprightly. Fleet of foot. This is my default mode when it comes to perambulation. I like to get about at a pretty handy speed when wandering about, get to the place I need to be to perform the act I need to perform then get the fuck out of Dodge. ‘Stride out, get out’ being the motto I live by generally when it comes to walking. I do have other pedestrian velocities to call upon depending on the situation. A venture into the big outdoors can easily be performed at an amble, taking in all the goodness of the fresh air and scenery of the locale. In transit between…

  • Adam Chapman

    The Apple Of My Eye

    As a man in my mid 20s hurtling through the remainder of my youth, I’m at the stage of life where many people of a similar age are starting to do grown up things like getting a mortgage, buying a car on finance or more prominently…bringing new life into the world.  Having a kid is a life changing experience. Whether planned as the start of a family or as the result of a boozy one night stand, you can’t deny that suddenly having to look after what is essentially a crying, pooping blob (for the first 18 years at least) throws a spanner in the works for a care free…

  • Sif

    School’s Out Out Out!

    Last week school students took to the streets to protest about climate change, going on strike from school to demand their voices be heard regarding the future being bequeathed to them be one to their liking. Thousands took part, waving placards and chanting catchy slogans: “What do we want!? Climate change sorting out! When do we want it!? During double maths!” It was quite a sight to witness the younger generation up in arms and passionate, I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many sanctimonious, self-righteous snotbags in one place. Aww, and their cute little placards: ‘THERE IS NO PLANET B’, ‘WE WON’T DIE OF OLD AGE, WE’LL DIE OF…

  • Sif

    It’s The Final Breakdown

    The other day a shared post on Facebook got my head cogs into gear and this is why I am tapping away at the keyboard tonight. The post said this: ‘Whether the introduction of glass coffins catches on remains to be seen.’ That tickled me, puns being far funnier than things like terminal illness and ‘Gavin and Stacey’, although in which order is up for debate. As I looked at the photo of the transparent corpse container I, for reasons unknown, thought of a food blender and why it was we don’t liquidise mortal remains for ease of transport and disposal? Sadly this was only the start of a plunge…

  • Adam Chapman

    High Praise

    Marijuana, weed, pot, cannabis, the devil’s lettuce, whatever you call it, you’re most likely familiar with it. I’m willing to bet that 99% of people have at one point or another come into contact with it.  If you haven’t smoked it before, I’m sure you’ve caught a slight scent of it on the wind when walking around town, love it or loathe it, it’s pretty darn common in 2019.  Cards on the table I don’t smoke it but I do believe it should be legalised. The benefits of doing so I believe outweigh the negatives, be that financial or just to stop that wanker in a pub being like “You…

  • Adam Chapman

    He Who Lives By The Phone, Dies By The Phone

    Phone addiction is becoming an epidemic amongst many of us in modern times. Indeed the damage constantly scrolling through multiple timelines or playing “Just one more level” on the latest game to hit the app store can have upon mental health is often the subject of debate on tv or in newspapers alike.  However, today I want to talk to you about a different kind of behaviour to do with our little pocket computers that just rubs me the wrong way, overuse of the camera.  This can be broken down into two categories, and luckily phone design makes this easier to tell which of the cardinal sins someone is breaking.…

  • Sif

    Sleight of Sign

    I like to think of myself as cucumberesque, that my cage is difficult to rattle and my stack is rarely blown. (The crude oral sex reference you just thought of is all your own work.) Admittedly I do live my life on the edge of a permanent, yet silent, nark but rarely do I get that cold twist in my stomach that leads me to rise to any bait. Today was different, today I got the proper hump. In my defence it was quite early in the morning and as I am not one of those weird ‘larks’ who are cheerful as soon as the sun rises, I am taking…

  • Sif

    C2H60 + H2O + C10H16O2 + C3H8 = R4NK

    B.O. It’s not fun. I don’t I have it, or at least none of my friends have said anything as yet, what I mean is B.O. wafting from other people is not fun. There’s nothing worse than getting a nose full of someone who has been a stranger to bathing for a while, their stale odour crawling its way down your airways to flip your stomach. Actually, that’s not true, there is something worse and that’s standing in a queue with someone who does have B.O. and having a mental breakdown hoping that no one else present thinks it’s you that has the bodily musk of a landfill site. I…