Adam Chapman

A New National Service Is Required

This weekend I did a few disco shifts at one of my local watering holes.

Now, I’ve done bar-work in the past, learnt how to pour a pint, learnt how to measure spirits but most importantly I’ve learnt how to hold my tongue when it comes to horrible customers. Honestly this weekend the percentage was very low, it was actually quite pleasant in fact. But as with most things in life, there is always going to be one or two bad eggs.

I’m sure every person who’s ever worked behind a bar agree with me that there are just some things that as a customer you should never ever do. How do we know this? Well, one, we’re not wankers, two we’ve spent a lot of time in bars and finally, we’ve all been 8 hours deep into an understaffed, overcrowded shift.

We covered a few things that customers shouldn’t do in our article unwritten pub rules we’ve all broken but honestly, I’ve heard some horror stories about horror drinkers. I’m not going to go extreme and highlight the lads who like to have a brawl after 5 pints but just little subtleties in how you speak and how you act when approaching a bar worker.

My personal pet peeve is impatience when it comes to ordering a drink. Don’t ever click your fingers at someone serving you to grab their attention, this is certainly going to get you served last. Similarly, don’t reach over the bar or tap the persons head or hands saying “Me next yeah mate?” it’s just common decency. Your drink will be served to you when it’s served to you, you can wait an extra minute or two, no one needs a drink THAT quickly.

The sarcasm in some people is just unbelievable someone who has spent 2 minutes waiting in line saying something loudly like “Oh, I don’t like waiting in line all night” or “God, how long does it take to get a drink?” if you want a drink that quickly, go to a quiet bar you fucking dick, I’m one of two people trying to serve 100 people, so cut me some slack.

When it comes to the end of the night don’t complain that it’s time to leave. Sure, you’ve had a fun time, having a few bevvies and chatting to your mates but the staff have been on their feet for hours and have to be back behind the bar in even fewer hours. If you’ve done it you know what the feeling is like.

It was a conversation with a friend of mine who has been working behind the bar for years who suggested that a new national service should be introduced. Everyone in Britain should have to work at least 6 months behind a bar, it’ll add a human element into how they interact towards people in hospitality. Staff are not robots placed there to fulfil your every need at that moment, the world isn’t perfect and sometimes you have to wait, it’s not that big of a deal and isn’t anything personal until the customer makes it so.

National service is seen as a right of passage in many countries. The country in which I was born, Singapore, implements it to make sure it’s capable of dealing with a national threat. The national service I want will deal with the worst of the worst on a night out that ultimately is a bigger threat to British culture than a foreign invasion.

We Brits have drunk in pubs for hundreds of years, we’ve famous worldwide for our drinking culture for good or bad.

so I Adam Chapman say “Your Country Needs You!” fight and work for pub and country.