Adam Chapman

Crazi Spell-lingz

Before I start I have to give a shout out to a fellow TBP writer. 

Sif pointed out briefly in his article “Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy” the annoyance of stupidly kooky spellings of otherwise simple words for the effect of…well I don’t really know what. 

So with this article fresh in my brain and a slight bit of motivation to go on a walk, I set off into the streets of Liverpool. Lo and behold, it’s bloomin’ everywhere. 

Such an example was of a new flat development being knocked up under the name of “Legacie Apartments”. I’ll point out the bleeding obvious here and suggest they are going for “Legacy”. Pretty cool right? Legacy, what does that make you think of? Glorious tales, passed down through generations, history being made in front of your eyes. What does “Legacie” make you think of? Someone with dyslexia doing the design and some very unaware quality control surveyors.

Clearly fuming at such brazen use of letters I got back to what I had initially set out to do. I swung in a local supermarket before being struck again by this word war that many companies are in. Introducing “Kleen King” and for a moment I sighed and cursed Sif for ever pointing this out. 

I can see what they were trying to do, who doesn’t love a bit of alliteration, it’s satisfying but if the words don’t fit, they don’t fit. I can’t just go around willy-nilly changing similar sounding letter to suit a cause can I? It’d be chaos. It would make The Bickering Press unreadable. 

It’s just something that really does rub me the wrong way. This could be due to the fact that as someone with dyslexia, I was criticised heavily throughout my school years by a number of teachers for my accidently atrocious spelling. Furthermore, when mistakes do creep through on The Bickering Press, I’m often greeted with multiple messages through social media calling me out on my lack of care of the English language. 

The fact that there is possibly a marketing team out there who are debating how to break through the saturated market to really make their product shine while landing on this, can only make me think that the meeting went a bit like this. 

Person 1: “As you know we’ve got a new product coming out and we want it to appeal to young professionals, any ideas.”

Person 2: “We could supply a quality service that doesn’t rely on a gimmick to get it noticed.” 

Person 1: “Get out!” 

Person 3: “Well remember in the early 2000s where you had to click a number multiple times on a phone to get one letter?”

Person 1: “Go on…” 

Person 3: “Well you know how you would sometimes misspell words on purpose to save a few seconds when writing a text?” 

Person 1: “Yes…I’m liking this”

Person 3: “Well let’s do that and call out new product ‘EZ BRDZ'”

Person 1: “Jason you’ve done it again, here’s a few thousand pounds” 

Now, in that example does BRD stand for Breads? Birds? Beads? It doesn’t bloody matter apparently, we as the general public will just eat it up like slop at a Victorian workhouse because it’s cute or something. 

If you’ve ever seen the 2002 Sacha Baron Cohen film Ali G Indahouse (that itself suffers from this crazy spelling craze) you’ll remember a scene in which Ali G texts someone “LNK CR B82REZ 2G4” before cutting to him on the phone saying he wanted to link the car batteries together and was trying to save time. Ali G isn’t the smartest of characters and so hilarity (if you want to call it that) ensues.  

Is this really where society is going? Are marketing teams and advertising agencies really drawing influence from early 2000s texting and sub-par comedy films to draw attention to the latest in innovative technology or luxury apartments? Apparently so.  

The ultimate irony of this whole situation is the fact that by infuriating me so much with its childish use of spelling “Legacie Apartments” has actually made me remember what would otherwise have been just another building site.

God damn it, they might be onto something.  

Anyway G2G I gt 2 mke dnr.