Adam Chapman

Is This The Most American Thing To Have Ever Happened?

What do most of us Brits think of when we think of America? Big meal portions and an even bigger customer. The American eagle flying off into the sunset over the hills of freedom! The stars and stripes, red, white and blue but most commonly associated is guns!

It’s almost become a cliche to mention the second amendment defending American, I could fill a multiple-page rant about them by themselves. We’ve all heard every point before though. Would gun control help? Well, Australia would be a prime example to look at. After the Port Arthur Massacre at the end of April 1996, in which 35 people were killed and 23 wounded, stricter gun laws down under were introduced and the number of mass killings and gun-related deaths has dramatically dropped. Coincidence? Well according to quite a few Americans, and worryingly, powerful Americans at that, yes, a complete coincidence, doing something like that would never help in the land of liberty.

As I mentioned earlier, the frustration caused by this complete blind eye and stubbornness behind the second amendment is another rant for another time. Today I’m tackling a different issue. Yes, it involves the use of guns, but this time is also involves something else widely associated with America, the crazy, fucked up weather. It’s surprising that anyone can argue against climate change over the pond after they’ve just been hit with two of the worst hurricanes in recent memory. We all know Donald Trump’s views on climate change and you’d like to think recent events would change his mind a little but I sure as hell can’t see that happening. An article from The Guardian written by Bob Ward does a fantastic job of breaking this down and is worth a read (after finishing this article of course)

Of course what has happened with America’s weather in the past month is no laughing matter. I’m not going to send thoughts and prayers and realistically they do fuck all, at least they have done fuck all every other time something terrible happens. Maybe this time will be different but I highly doubt it.

What is laughable is how a Facebook event has blown up out of all proportion, confidence in the common sense of Florida’s residents is worryingly low and reaction that has followed.

As you can see in the image above, Floridians (is that their name? sounds like something out of a Sci-Fi film) were invited out to embrace their second amendment rights, scream “Hoo-rah America” and fire a few rounds into the approaching, record breaking 180mph winds. Upon seeing this I instantly thought of that Family Guy scene in which Mayor Adam West (who is certifiably insane) stabs the ocean in a form of revenge. That’ll show it.

I know this was most likely set up as a joke, obviously, it’s a joke but maybe I can tell that because I’m reasonably well educated and know that shooting into a hurricane probably isn’t the best idea in the world. However with over 54,000 people ‘attending’ this event you’ve just to got to play the odds to realise that there probably is a percentage of that who might follow through with it. I mean it only takes a moment and one search into Google to see the effects of firing into a hurricane just have a look at the picture below.

If there is a heaven I’d hate to approach the pearly gates, chatting in line with the next celeb to pop their clogs and being like “Yeah I fired my AR-15 into an approaching hurricane, thought I was defending my country” It’d be more embarrassing than that time your Aunty Sandra had to walk into the kitchen the morning after getting too drunk and vomiting on her daughter. That hasn’t happened to me, but it’s happened to someone out there, I’ll put money on it.

What’s even more hilarious is the fact that the state sheriff has had to come out and publically warn people not to shoot at the hurricane. I can just imagine it. The stress of the upcoming disaster is getting on top of him, he’s on his 7th cup of coffee of the day and his assistant drops down a piece of paper like “Sir, you should probably take a look at this”. That’d probably be the breaking point, greeted with a strong sigh and a thought of “Really?”. Better safe than sorry I suppose, you never know what some American’s are going to believe. I mean just look at their president, even though science is telling him otherwise about climate change, Trumpism is all he believes in. Pretty sure a few of them are now starting to believe the earth is flat, thought we covered that centuries ago?

You can just feel the frustration in a quote from Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco when asked about this public warning as he states:
“Over 99% of the people out there have common sense and are listening, but we in law enforcement deal with the 1%, so we are trying to get the message to them,” Isn’t that just enough to make you feel sorry for the guy?

The event was set to take place on the 10th of September and thus far waking up on the 11th I haven’t heard much fall out so possibly the warning had a greater effect than first expected on the 1% of common sense lacking Americans.

Floridians, if you want a safer option (possibly) just do what this lad did during Hurricane Matthew. But it’s still probably for the best you stay inside, just you know. it’s pretty wild out there.