Adam Chapman

There’s Too Much TV

A lot of life in 2018 revolves around “What’re you watching right now? I’m watching this, have you seen it?”. If the person answers yes a few minutes revolve quoting or reminiscing about certain episodes. If the answer is no there’s outrage, stop the presses, “You mean you haven’t seen it? HOW?!?!?! It’s sooooo good”

I’m sorry, do you realise how much television there is out there? One quick google search will show you that there are around 34,739 hours of content on Netflix alone. Netflix doesn’t even have some of the big hitters in its back catalogues such as Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead. So let’s break that down, to get through Netflix alone would take 1447.46 days. That’s pretty much 4 years of uninterrupted viewing to get through. Who needs sleep eh? I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

If you did actually watch all that was to offer on Netflix I’m pretty sure you would be dead. Lack of activity can lead to a number of conditions including obesity, heart disease, blood clots just to name a few. That new season of the latest hit TV show could actually be the final nail in the coffin, so watch yourselves out there guys and gals.

That’s just Netflix from August 2015 as well, they’ve brought out a hell of a lot more since then and are going to continue to do so for the foreseeable. It’s a Goliath. Blockbusters were fools to pass up the opportunity to get on board with them way back when. RIP Blockbusters, gone and soon to be forgotten.

Reports suggest that in 2018 alone Netflix is looking to spend over 8 BILLION US Dollars on new content. Oh, my good god. According to YouTube Channel ETC Show, this means Netflix will be releasing more films than most major film studios COMBINED. Is it time to start making preparations for the end of cinema? I honestly can’t remember the last time I went to the cinema. The idea of sitting in a chair whilst a bunch of 14-year-olds text and chat away throughout the film is something that in my premature old man state I just can’t tolerate anymore. The home cinema system I’m currently rocking is pretty decent, The food is cheaper and there are no interruptions if I want to get fully investing in a film.

I’ll admit I watch a fair amount of TV through streaming services such as Netflix, Amazon Prime, ETC, it’s nice to have something on in the background as I’m bringing you these rants.

The problem is with so much choice I’m put under too much pressure to invest, how will I know which show is going to be the next great love of mine and which one is going to waste my precious time. So you know what I end up doing? Rewatching the same shows over and over, like a poor excuse of that channel DAVE, except I have the control. I think I’ve probably watched through shows such as Peep Show or It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia a solid 5+ times each. Don’t get me wrong it’s nice to have a choice at times, as they say, variety is the spice of life, I get that, but sometimes I want a Korma instead of a Vindaloo.

There’s also that millennial condition known as FOMO, or Fear Of Missing Out, that is a big driving factor to this waterfall of content. In a similar sense to that saying if you build it they will come. If it’s created someone will watch it and if you ain’t someone you’re no one. I don’t watch Rick and Morty, horrifying I know, but most of my friends do, so when we hit up a local pub, grab a drink and they’ll go off on a 30-minute conversation about Rick and Morty I sit there twiddling my thumbs and wondering if there will ever be an animal that will one day be able to play football better than Barcelona. This is normally greeted with “You have to watch it ad” followed by “Sure I’ll chuck on an episode tonight” before slumping back into my 6th re-run of Father Ted. I know I’m sounding incredibly hypocritical right now as I’m guilty of doing the exact same thing but much like an alcoholic in a moment of realisation I can see the damage it’s doing to those around me.

What shows are you watching reader? Let me know so I can continue to panic when met with choice and not watch them.