Adam Chapman

Who Else Is Bored Of The Word Brexit?

Brexit…The word we’ve all come to loathe.

What started off sounding like a new healthy grain based cereal has now become the buzzword for British politics over the past few years. Every single day talking heads across all media platforms are dropping Brexit more times than your Aunt Judy mentions spotting Barry Manilow down Brighton Pier that one time.

But where did it all begin? who coined the phrase? and why hasn’t that person been publicly tried for crimes against humanity?

Rumour has it that Brexit was first used by a Mr Peter Wilding, a founder and director of the British influence think tank in 2012. Further rumour has it that he was actually on the side of remain, so why the bloody hell Mr Wilding did you give the other side something that was so clearly going to be shoved down our throats for the next 5 years? Bremain doesn’t quite have the same ring even if it technically works far more fluidly than Brexit.

One of the earliest uses of the word Brexit. Like watching apes use tools for the first time.

As mentioned earlier, I don’t think I’ve gone a single day without hearing or seeing the word. I’m sure I’ve even encountered it in my dreams. Imagine if Mr Wilding received royalties every time someone quoted him, he’d bankrupt the country more than it already is. Saying that, the tories did just unload £1.5Bn to the DUP so I imagine there is some leftover funds for made up buzzword royalties.

In the spirit of Brexit I want to try meshing two words that shouldn’t go together in the hope of funding The Bickering Press for the foreseeable future.

1. Brevorce 

A very British divorce in which both sides are too incredibly shy to bring up any doubts with the marriage and instead internalise everything. This in turn leads to one of two things, a drinking problem or a sudden interest in gem stones.

2. Bredrinks 

The British approach to pre-drinking. Drinking more than most other nations would drink on a night out before leaving your flat and in turn getting refused entry from the club. Often finishing up in tears, kebabs, vomit or all 3 simultaneously.

3. Brinception 

This is where you have a horrific dream that a Tory MP used the N-word in public, Tories cheered at blocking a pay rise for firefighters mere days after the Grenfell Tower disaster and the British PM is so out of touch with the everyday person that fields of wheat are a sign of rebellion. The Brinception part if when you wake up and still see these things leading you to question if you’re still in that dream.

4. Bretflix 

Not as good as the American Netflix and yet everyone seems to have it. Only ever used to watch the same episodes of a few shows over and over to escape your crippling hangover from Bredrinks.

5. Brisunderstanding 

A common everyday mixup like forgetting and mishearing someones name. This in turn leads to weeks and weeks of sleepless nights and cold sweats. When finally resolved you realise no one else even remembered it happening until you brought it up in a frantic apology.

So there’s my 5 guys and gals. What other mish mash of British words can you come up with?

Lets get these 5 trending and keep The Bickering Press going for the foreseeable future #Brevorce #Bredrinks #Brinception #Bretflix #Brisunderstanding